The nut should not be secured tightly and you should not need a socket to put muscle into it. Just a crescent wrench will do. The nut holds everything against everything else and then the castle nut and cotter pin keep the nut from backing off. Tightening the nut would bind the bearings and wear them out real quick.
Make sure you rotate the drum as you snug up the nut again when you put everything back together. The first time you want to seat everything together well, then just snug it up so that everything (bearings, races, washer) are all together several times, backing off the nut between each effort. Then the last time snug the nut up just enough to hold everything against each other, not tightened tegether, and then put the castle nut back on and insert the cotter pin.
Whatever you do, do NOT crank the nut tight. You will be replacing bearings by next fall or winter........winter is more likely since the snow will be flying which makes it harder to work on the car.
Steve