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What do i put here?
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8,344 Posts
Great advice.. always told my buddies this.. ^^
 

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Well mine is a long story. I've been with my wife for going on 15 years. We have been married going on 7 this July. We have a 9 year old, and a 4 year old. we have nhad our ups and downs, but we hit rock bottom starting last January. I got layed of from where I had work for 5 years at a factory 3 years prior to that January. She had just got her paramedic certs. We decided to relocate to Indianapolis from Fort Wayne because she got a job offer. So we move and live in a rental for a year with our kids which at the time was 5 and 6 months. Her new job was making it hard for us to find care for kids. So we decided that it was better off for one of us to stay home with the kids. Well since she makes a ton of money and i had no job guess who it would be. Things seem to go great for that first year down here, we bought our first house and she lost her job, but got a new one quickly. Then 6 months later she lost that one, then got a new one quickly again. I sign up to go back to school, and she changed jobs again. This has been a 2 year process. At this new company she started to work late, or would go out for drinks all the time. This went on for a few months before I got tired of it. I work a part time job, go to school full time and watch the kids full time, and was getting nothing from her, but help with he bills. Mind you I had a lot going on, and my not had the house spotless, but she always had clean clothes, and dinner on the table waiting for her. So one night she said she had a meeting after work. They do every first wen of the month. I didn't think anything of it. I sent her a text telling her I would start dinner later so it wouldn't be cold. She sent me back a text saying the meeting was running late so don't worry about it. Well normally se is home by 730 so I let it be. 930 rolled by and its freezing rain and road closures start to happen. I called but got nothing. 1030 I call again and got nothing. This time I call the owner of the company. He tells me the meeting was over at 615, and everyone left. I call her and got nothing again, so I left a message that if I don't here from her I'm going to start calling the hospitals and the jail to see if she is there. Well she must of listened to her vmail because she butt dialed me, and I can hear her and another guy talking about getting her home safe. 1230 I hear a truck pull up and she gets out, then her truck pulls in the driveway. She stumbles up to the house stoneface drunk. I tore into her about it. Then she tells me she wants a divorce. I tell her to go to bed and we will talk about it later. The next day she won't talk to me, and tells me she does want a divorce, that she feels I haven't done anything for her in the last 3 years and so on so forth. I talk her into going to counseling. I discover that I havent been the greatest husband as well. After 6 months things seem to get better. She tells me she wants to cut out the counseling to save some money and we seem to be getting better. So we go for about 4 months of things going great, atleast that's my thoughts. Then she started to get distant with me, cold, and the going out veal started again. Then one night I'm sitting next to here she has the laptop and is on facebook. I glance over and notice her chatting it up with a old coworker. I see him ask her how things are going, and she tells him she is planning on divorcing me at the end of the year. Then I see him ask if she is dating anyone, and she said yes 2 guys from her work. Then he asked her if they did anything, and she said now not yet, maybe this weekend with one of them. I got up and just went to bed. That weekend she came up with some stupid story about some friends from her old high school where down in obey and wanted to go out. I acted like it was cool, and ask where they where going, and who she was meeting. She didn't have an issue telling me where they where going. But when it came to the name of the girls she was meeting she stumbled. So after she left I had a neighbor come over and watch the kids. I went to the place she said she would be.at and went in and sure enough she was there with a guy. Now I'm 34 at the time and my wife is 32. The guy.she was with looked like he was in his early 20's. I head home and wait for her. She comes in about 1. And woke me up when she came in, i acted like I didn't know anything, and asked her how her night was,.she made up the biggest lie. So I called her out. She acted like I was stupid. I walked over to her phone and picked it up and opened her text mess. The last one was from the guy that she was with, a guy she works with and it was talking about the hotel on wheels.. I was pissed and started to ask her about if she has slept with him,.she denied it. Then the phone started to ring while I have it in my hand, she runs at me and starts to get physical with me. It was the guy, so she grabs the phone and answers it. I'm standing there yelling that I want to talk to this little punk. She passes the phone over to me and I go off on him, and told him we are trying to save our marriage. And to keep out of it if he knows whats best for.him. she packed a bag and left. So the next day I called her work and told the owner everything that is going on at his company. I shouldn't of done that, but it was out of.desperation. he owner sat her down and told her I called him. And she came home with a attitude. I got us into the counseling again, plus signed us up.for a marriage.retreat. the counseler said.there was nothing she could.do to help us. But the marriage retreat we went oj that weekend helped out big time. It made us.both open our eyes. So we found a new counselor that is.helping us, and I must say we are getting better, but it has been a year of.work with this new one. We did have a few issues since the start of this new counselor. She did have another affair as well. But that was in the beginning of this new.start. a lot of.people say I should leave.her, but I do love her. But this is the last chance.

Sorry for it being so long, and all the ....everywhere I'm posting from my phone
 

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Eh!
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11,225 Posts
I lived under a rock for the last half of my junior year and halfway through my senior year because I was stalked. I couldn't go anywhere without getting a text saying, "I know where you are. I see you're with so and so. Dirty skank." That was probably the nicest thing I got from whoever it was. So I was more than happy to get the hell out of Pennsylvania and go to Towson University in Maryland. It was my first choice school and I got in. [woot]

After almost a year without any real human communication, I was getting stir crazy. I saw on Myspace that there was a party about an hour away and I decided to go. I knew I wouldn't know anyone and that's what I wanted.

I didn't drink. I'm not stupid. That's how people get raped. Instead I just mingled. At the end of the night I made sure to say goodnight to everyone. The last person I said goodbye to was Kyle. I had heard he had a bagged Focus and I thought he was a homo for having a bagged car. I also found out that we actually lived two minutes down the road from each other and went to the same high school (he had graduated in '03. Me in '09. You can do the math.) Sadly, he was leaving for Afghanistan in a week. The last thing he said to me as he put his foot on the keg was, "You know how I'll remember your name? You have the same name as my mom."

We hung out and I knew I wanted to wait for him. My mom lost her job so I decided to go to a small University twenty minutes up the road from where we live. He was gone a week before I couldn't stand it and I told him we had to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We will be together for two years in March. :) I love him so much. I couldn't have asked for a better guy. Although he isn't very good in the responsibility area, he has a girlfriend that takes care of him and picks up where he falls short.
I'm sorry, I know this is an old one, but SERIOUSLY??
"I didn't drink. I'm not stupid. That's how people get raped." [hah]
Poor girl must have been so sheltered.
 

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ɔᴉʇɐuɐℲ snɔo&
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7,806 Posts
I have been divorced for 5 years now, I have dated a few times since then, nothing serious. I enjoy being single, but I know that my daughter wants to have a mommy. I know how she feels, I was raised by my mom, never met my dad. But if I want someone in my life it has to be for me and not her.

So with me dealing with school now, raising my daughter and finding time for my car, I don't see how I can or would want to be in a relationship right now. Anyways the divorce was not hard on me at all. I am not sad, mad or whatever, I got over my ex the day we signed the papers. She walked out and never looked back, I walked away with the best thing that ever happend to us, my daughter.

Maybe if I choose to date somewone, I will. Till then, I enjoy being single, have been for 5 years now...

Wait 5 years - it's been 7, oh how the time flies by
 

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4,585 Posts
I met mandy on plenty of fish 3 years ago I asked her to marry me only like a year or so in if my memory serves me right...so yes the dating sites do work. I'm 34 she's 35 this relationship has not been without consequence though..Things where well between her and my mom until my mom go real sick due to the cats I had...and we are big animal lovers the both of us, so anyway my mom proceeds to yell at mandy because my mom warned us time and time again that she's deathly allergic to cats and that I needed to get rid of them. I had 5 at the time where I only started out with 1 and that number grew because I am a huge animal lover. Anyways after that day when my mom yelled at mandy things have never been the same between them...I've always hated friction in a relationship........I must admit our relationship is not perfect but hey what one is? We are planning on getting a place together as I still live with mom...It's free room and board for me I'm really trying to get out of the house thought. This has got to be the best 3 years of my life...before me Mandy only was in a 7 month relationship with some douche named Eric who cheated on her with someone he worked with and broke the news to her after a creed concert. We did decide against getting married we both agree it's just a piece of paper, I must admit I was a little dissapointed but I don't mind LOL. I'm a go with the flow type of guy so whatever works works, She loves me more then she's loved anyone else...but bear in mind she's only been with one guy. She's not much of a phone person either but she loves texting whenever she gets a chance she's a paraprofessional which in laymens terms means a teachers assistant and she doesn't have much time during the day to text and I understand that. We only see each other a few times a week which is cool it keeps things fresh between us, we'll see how it goes when we move in together as far as everything else goes it's great!
 

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Minty!
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6,610 Posts
just realized how untrustworthy some girls are. i've been with this girl for almost 3 years, and she swears on her heart that she wants to stay with me. but today i hacked on her facebook and found her flirting with another guy. and on top of that, another guy asked her on a date and said he can treat her like a real man.... WTF. one, guys are ufcking toools. two, girls are not trustworthy, and can never se satisfied. well at least this one. it's disgusting how she can do this behind my back. i literally haven't talked to a single girl for more than 2 sentences. and this is what i get... plus, she's the kind that wants me to buy HER everything. i work the maximum hours at work so i can have some money, but the payroll is getting short, meaning they dropped everyone's hours dramatically. how is that my fault? i applied for a great paying job and hopefully would be starting in a few weeks here. but wtf, god i'm so pissed.
 

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Rebecca
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18,759 Posts
^^^ yeah, get out of that relationship, but a little jealousy on her part will keep that spark in the relationship. You should talk to other girls for more than two sentences.
 

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PIMP'N AINT EASY
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6,485 Posts
ive been single a while now...minus a couple of women that hit me up here and there, wich i wouldnt mind just being friends with...but they dont see it that way, they both want the wholw commitment thing, there just not my type, or what i really want..its not wrong to be picky...right?...im just hold'n out for the one i want, not settling anymore like im notorious for doing..yep, i cant wait to find my next ex-girlfriend...lol
 

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Final Update: a new chapter in my life.....

OK, I'll make this update short and sweet.

After being reunited for almost 26 months, BarBara and I were married yesterday.

We simply eloped.

Our marriage was performed by a minister in the afternoon and we went to a friend's house later that evening to cut up a very small wedding cake.



The both of us are very, very happy.

We will take our honeymoon later this year, probably a trip to an island in the Caribbean if everything goes according to plan.


For all you hopeless romantics out there... it's been about 15 months and BarBara and I are mostly inseparable!

2 years ago, I was rebuilding my Duratec race engine in the kitchen.



Last year, after being reunited with BarBara I rebuilt the kitchen.



And refinished most of the interior with her design ideas....





How many people can say that they have fallen in love with the same person twice in one lifetime?

 

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w/ my magic bag
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29,375 Posts
Thats great Tom, Hope all works out for both of you, congrats.
 

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Cars&Corgis
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4,448 Posts
Broke up with my ex fiancee of 3 and a half years the day after valentines day, when I read her phone over her shoulder. Thanking some other dude for the valentines day gift and kiss. I'd had enough by then. She was just... not a cool person. Always got jealous of the time I spent on my bike and car, and even got jealous that I had more pictures of them on my phone than I had of her. Way I see it, at least I didn't have pictures of other women on there. I was faithful as could be.

Same could not be said of her.

Breakup was bad, wrecked my car a week afterwards, and the combination of those 2 things sent me into a pretty bad funk for a solid month. This was all in February so its all still a bit tender, but getting better. Just sucks having to start from scratch when you've devoted so long to someone. All the girls i used to know are totally out of my life now.

/rant.
 

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Left Lane Warrior
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3,946 Posts
I went through the same about 7 years ago after being with the girl for 6 years. I've been single ever since. Being cheated on is super painful. Trust is hard after that. I still can't wrap my head around how a person can do that and come home knowing what they just did, and it doesn't even phase them.

There are times, few and far between, when I think about having someone to be with. But then I think about the way I get to live my life and that goes away. I can do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want. My car is loyal, I'm good with that.

PS: Diggin' the Mr. House avatar, replica.
 

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37 Posts
Been single since September...I think I may be destined to be alone, most relationships = mutually accepted delusions and/or putting up with too much BS. Maybe I'm bitter but that's all I see (I mean, look at the last few posts on this thread alone). Very very very few relationships I observe are actually functional and/or healthy. If one comes along, then I'll go for it but I'm not just gonna be with anyone b/c I don't want to be alone.
 
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