> I don't understand how the a/c can affect misfire so drastically
It really isn't affecting the misfire at all, but rather the engine shaking and you perception of the misfire. With little load, the engine crankshaft doesn't slow-down that much when a single cylinder doesn't fire properly. But if you add load to the engine/crankshaft, there will be more of a slow-down when a cylinder misfires, and more of a subsequent pick-up when the next cylinder in the firing order fires.
So as you increase load on the engine, the misfire will become more and more noticeable.
> Wouldn't the engine light come on?
It should. But to avoid false alarms, some OBD-II systems doe not give a light upon the first notice of misfire, but require a sustained misfire over a period of time before lighting the CEL/MIL.
Most OBD-II systems monitor for misfires using the crankshaft position sensor to detect changes in crankshaft speed and associate the time of the change to a particular cylinder. But since other conditions, such as driving on a rough road, can also make sudden/momentary changes in the crankshaft speed, most require the data to fit a particular pattern over some period of time before a MIL light indication is given.
A persistent misfire should result in a CEL/MIL, but (a) not always immediately, and (b) only if the misfire continues for a period of time.