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Old 01-30-2010, 06:43 AM   #1
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Autocross Definition and classes

Funny read it.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Autocross


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Old 01-30-2010, 11:04 AM   #2
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Very funny; Let me add this (found on scca forums):

I think if we're worried about the number of classes, I can come up with some more candidates for chopping.

#1, HS. This class is boring. An HS car at nationals this year recorded 77 db. I fart louder than that. Plus they take way to long to get around the course. Remove it.

#2, GS. See HS, but make it suck just a little bit less. But not enough less to save it. Remove it.

#3, DS. See GS. Getting warmer, but not quite all the way there. With the move of the Hype R, you don't even have any fwd sports cars. Wait, what am I saying... There are no fwd sports cars. Remove it too.

#4, STS. Combine it with ST. For chr*st's sake, do we really need two separate classes for FWD Honda shitboxes to irritate me on street tires? ST seems like its usually faster than STS anyway, which is silly. Remove STS.

#5, DM/EM/XP. Sorry guys, you only get two classes. Figure it out. Do it by weight or engine size or whatever. Personally, I'd delete XP, make EM weigh more, and make DM go a little larger on displacement (3 liter?) as long as weight also had to increase some.

#6, FSAE. Seriously? You wanna talk about irritating cars, here you go. The damn short wheelbase things only ever point straight sitting at the starting line. The average FSAE run takes five minutes when you factor in spin & stall time. Plus at nationals I saw one sitting sideways on its wheels with the guy working on the bottom. That shouldn't be allowed, because I can't do it and it p*sses me off.

#7, AS/BS. No. These classes used to be combined when I started autocrossing and we all know that what's right and true is frozen in time at that point. Combine them. If making BS RX8's uncompetitive happens because of it and it pisses Isley off, that's just a bonus.

#8, CS. Sorry, you're gone too. This used to be a good class, then along came the Solstice and the new miata and ed it all up.

#9, FSP. C'mon. There was a Pinto in FSP at nationals. It was a nice Pinto, but still, writing is on the wall here.

#10, DSP. Might as well combine DSP and ESP, since we're ing up ESP anyway with the WRX anyway.

#11, SSM. First, this class should go away just because its supposed to be called SM2 and SSM just p*sses me off. Sounds like some kinda porno thing and my kids are there, so GTFO. Just have Erik and Andy play rock paper scissors every year and save the tire wear.

#12. STR. Nick Jackson annoys me sometimes and he's running this class. Delete it. Sorry everyone but Nick, but you should've thought about that one sooner.

#13. GP. The LBC guys are all getting too damn old for me to want them driving anyway. The Honda folks should nut up and run EP. Delete it.

#14. DP. Where are all the hordes of miata owners who were bleating about "I don't want to add weight to my car" back when DP was combined with GP? Sorry folks, you're done. Combine the class with EP and make the miata weigh 3000 lbs. ers.

#15. CP. I like CP. I don't want to delete the class. But Mr. Berger I'm going to shoot you in the ass if I ever see that again. Holy Christ, have some dignity. And a bus? I'm going to burn the damn bus. Here's the deal. You can act all high and mighty when you get back to being the biggest class at nationals.

#16. BSP. Nut up and run SM, you whiny s. Its not like the car is going to change beyond bolting on a turbo. If you're in BSP in a non-awd car then you need help anyway and an autox class just for you isn't gonna be enough. Delete it.



There you go. We've deleted 16 classes. Now we can add a couple more ladies classes, or as I like to call them, the "Tires for T*ts Program".
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Old 01-30-2010, 02:07 PM   #3
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Haha, funny stuff, I bet the guy who wrote that competes in a corvette, just saying...
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Old 01-30-2010, 03:07 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auto-X-ZTS View Post
Very funny; Let me add this (found on scca forums):



There you go. We've deleted 16 classes. Now we can add a couple more ladies classes, or as I like to call them, the "Tires for T*ts Program".
I know this stuff is posted because its funny, but why do women need their own classes? Can't they run in the same as everyone else?
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Old 01-30-2010, 04:09 PM   #5
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Funny, nice find.
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Old 01-30-2010, 04:31 PM   #6
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I know this stuff is posted because its funny, but why do women need their own classes? Can't they run in the same as everyone else?
Because everyone knows men drive better.
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Old 01-31-2010, 12:25 AM   #7
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Well this is a world where women are seen as equal, but I was just making an argument for the sake of it. I could care less either way until I got beat by a girl.
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