I was extremely annoying to the dealership about that issue when mine was replaced. Sometimes it pays to be a little annoying though. They printed out a document that had the torque sequence and specs and had the tech follow it during the installation. Now it drives absolutely perfect.
I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time with your car, I'm sure it's frustrating as hell. It's amazing how someone with an internet connection can find out information about a cars issue and the dealer can be so clueless.