OK so I figured it out. Engineering degree's gotta be good for somethin!
Remove four scrivets on plastic radiator cowl
Unscrew headlights (two torx each) and move them out of the way
Unscrew the torx screw next to the lowermost headlight screw you just removed (both sides, duh
Undo hood release cable
Unclip bumpre cover, near where the aforementioned torx screws were in the front.
Lift front of car
remove the underbody fairing (like when doing an oil change)
remove front bumper spoiler (7 torx screws and a shitpile of scrivets)
in each wheel well, remove three torx screws and the single scrivet. These particular scrivets are
ing bungholes, and you will most likely break them.
In the wheel well, where the bumper cover and fender meet, pull the bumper cover straight out, away from the car. be gentle, it should pop out easily. (both sides)
lift and pull buper cover away from car
unhook foglight connector
Hope this helps another noob. Overall, very easy to do, but a little daunting at first! The scrivets will most likely break. be careful.
The trick to remove them is find the indentation between the base and the inner section and gently lift the rim with a flat head. Then wiggle the middle section out. To put them back, insert the middle section a couple of millimeters, jam the thing in the hole and push the center section in.