"D!P$H!T F!Xe$" The Wrong way to do it. - Ford Focus Forum, Ford Focus ST Forum, Ford Focus RS Forum
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Old 02-14-2008, 11:57 PM   #1
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Talking "D!P$H!T F!Xe$" The Wrong way to do it.

I thought some satire would do the forums some justice. What better way to make a point than with a little humor? I'd like to see some other hair-brained ideas, posted by you guys.

Lower your ride cheap! Sacrifice ride comfort and performance while risking your mechanic's life! Use spring clamps today! Who needs suspension travel when you have the look you want! What's a broken spring or four, think of the money you'll save! Do it right make sure to cut the bolts short to help deter your mechanic from ever returning the car to stock! Ohh, this is also a great way for used car dealers to re-affirm their sleazyness!



Seriously, don't do this at home. I've noticed a very rough ride on my car, although I've never driven a stock focus. I'm also planning on installing a SVT suspension to remedy this potentially hazardous set up. For today I'd like to name my new car's former owner "CAPTAIN D!P$H!T."

"Polish your pride upon the shelf, set it aside and forget yourself." -AH


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Old 02-14-2008, 11:59 PM   #2
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Um, I'm confused...
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:01 AM   #3
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damn dude! welcome?

Let's see a photo of this monster!
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:17 AM   #4
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Got a flat? Fix it quick, easy, and dirty TODAY! Feel free to risk the tire repair guy's health and life. Use Fix-A-Flat. You know the canned foam with the "Caution Flammable" warnings all over them. You can have a quick fix and when you decide spend the five bucks(yes it's cheaper than the can of Fix-A-Flat) to get it done right your tire will explode in the repair guy's face. Ha, that's always good for a laugh! Fix It the D!P$H!T way today!!!


Whoever created Fix-A-Flat should have to repair tires full of flammable foam for the rest of their life. Please help protect your tire repair guy's well being, DON'T USE FIX-A-FLAT, and discourage anyone else from doing it too.

(Yes I sell, write, and produce ads for a living) ANY QUESTIONS?
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:20 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stivo View Post
damn dude! welcome?

Let's see a photo of this monster!
I already posted pics under "Help! Spring "clamp" issue".
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:22 AM   #6
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canyou do one for missing exhaust. that lick flames at the tank? (my first car had this)
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:27 AM   #7
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Welcome to the site man. I hope your car gets fixed up right.
It sucks that the previous owner was stupid.
Sounds like you are good at making ad's. Nice skill.
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:28 AM   #8
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by killer ZETEC View Post
canyou do one for missing exhaust. that lick flames at the tank? (my first car had this)
I've got work early, I'll add it tomorrow. Thanks for the reply, how bout some rep?
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:45 AM   #9
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sure cuz this is gonna get hilarious
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Old 02-15-2008, 02:11 PM   #10
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I wish that I had a picture, but a former customer of mine was complaining about a rough ride and a sagging right rear on an older F-150 Pick up.

We put it on a rack and found THREE (3) Nerf footballs compressed into the rear leaf springs...
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