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Old 03-12-2007, 09:37 PM   #1
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The killing of a bull.

I ran into a tricky position tonight and some help from you folks is needed.

Recently my svt was stolen from my driveway, and it is no more. I've been inthe market to buy either a newer one to replace it or an ion redline.

Unfortunately, my wife was talking to her father today, and he came up with a brilliant solution. He's under an impression that because I bought a new civic SI instead of a more expensive car that my new job isn't paying the bills, so he decided since he won't be driving anymore, he's going to give us his '93 ford taurus. Ahh!

It's pretty sentimental to my wife and my father-in-law, yet ironically I got stuck with it while my wife steals my SI. So here I am driving around the junkiest car ever. My first car from my parents when I was a teen was better than this. The car is from NY and has seen its fair share of hit-and-runs, and I don't think it's ever been taken in for maintenance other than oil-changes.

Ok sorry for the long story, this is where you guys come in. I need to kill this car.. I told my wife we could use it as a trade-in for the svt, but she said it would offend my father-in-law too much. So the way I see it.. if it breaks down, and it's not worth fixing.. then there's nothing we can do about it.

I do admit I feel horrible about attempting to kill their old family car, but I can't be driving this around. It's a horrible car.. he even repainted it himself so the shine is gone, holes all over it, the steering wheel shakes while driving, etc.

I just can't think of a good way to kill it. I need a way that won't get the finger pointed at me right away. Something like pouring milk in the gas-can would only raise doubts, and I don't want it to break while me or the wife is driving it and causing some sort of accident.

So if anyone could help.. I love you.


Cliff notes - I got a junker car from the father-in-law, I need to kill it for my svt to be boughten, and my wife can't know about it.

That's basically it..


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Old 03-12-2007, 10:07 PM   #2
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Hmm....welll.....

Change the trans fluid for some nice uber thin synthetic trans fluid....and do the ricer shift from 1st to second to third to Drive ( if its an auto - an old taurus i'd assume it would be ). Also try some nice cheap lightweight synth motor oil...should do the ages old seals and gunk built up some good to get flowing around the motor...

Or if you want to do it faster.....make it look like something scrapped the bottom of the rad hose....put a few little holes in it...take her for a long ride

If her dad wasn't mechanically inclined one bit i'd just say file away the points in the distributor so it runs like crap. ( thats a good enough reason to ditch it right? )

Worst comes to worst: get some neighbourhood hooligans to have some fun hitting some 'random old parked car' with their big huge truck. give them permission to tape it and put it on youtube. their almost guaranteed to do it.
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Old 03-12-2007, 10:15 PM   #3
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haha ^ good ideas. Run it off of a clif and say that the robbers must've also stolen the taurus from the driveway...
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Old 03-12-2007, 10:22 PM   #4
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Thankyou!

Thinking about it again now...The trans idea would be best to do...because

A) A trans is enough money to NOT want to put into an older car
B) The rest of the car can be parted out for $$ for mods for a new focus!
C) Its fairly believable
D) Its probably the safest way to kill it off...it'll just start to "SLIP" away!
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Old 03-12-2007, 11:16 PM   #5
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just tell him you thank him for the car but you just can not take it and youve had ur eyes on another car. if he dont understand then just sell it and he gets mad tell him its his fault u tried to give it back. he will have a feeling you did it when it starts breaking down and u go for a car youve been wanting when the guy checking out why it broke down says some tard but in REALLY thin oil. He will know...
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Old 03-13-2007, 12:02 AM   #6
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I doubt any mechanic would want to take the time to slewth around like that...they wouldn't investigate that deeply. Haha that's like CSI-type stuff...I don't know, I think you'd be safe with that.

If you can't think of anything else, accidentally leave it at a compaction site.
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Old 03-13-2007, 12:39 AM   #7
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ok lol rev it to redline in Neutral and drop it in to gear. For a car that old a few of those will do plenty of harm. That way it's all mechanical damage that you can't see

or take out the air filter and run it straight
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Old 03-13-2007, 12:48 AM   #8
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go buy a 10 guage and blame it on the neighborhood kids
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Old 03-13-2007, 01:07 AM   #9
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If this car is so special to your wife and her family I think she should drive it. After driving for a while she might think about trading it in to. Dude you have an SI drive it.
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Old 03-13-2007, 01:23 AM   #10
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^
I agree. If its so sentimental to her, then take your keys back and give her the keys to the Taurus. Then see how long she wants to keep it.

As far as how to kill it...I think putting some holes in the radiator hose would be your best bet. Let it overheat and just keep driving it...a cracked block or warped head would easily cost more to repair than the whole car is worth.
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