I've been driving now for 40+ yrs & in that time have seen my fair share of fellow motorists. Here's my own take on YOU MIGHT BE A LO-PERFORMANCE DRIVER IF:

-You don't signal when turning or making a lane change
-The phrase SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT applies to everyone BUT you
-You view your car as a PHONE BOOTH
-The top of your head does not come above the headrest (what are you seeing out the windshield?)
-You drive 10+mph slower than the posted speed limit 'cause you're not gonna take any chances
-You street race (take it to the track)
-You cut people off
-You try and outrun a radio i.e. Law Enforcement
-You ignore traffic signs
-You think that your minivan, SUV, or pickup just won the Winston Cup & you want to prove it to everyone else
-You speed in the rain/snow


I'm sure there's more, feel free to add them, but these are the ones that I've noticed that qualify you as a LO-PERFORMANCE DRIVER

Peace, out!

agree....

Good list. I had someone right behind me get pulled over the other day for doing a lot of what you posted. It was raining, he was talking on his phone, didn't use his turn signal, and cut the person off behind him. The cop was following him the whole time and he didn't know it...oh yeah, and guess what, it was a mini-van.

Don't forget tailgating, and weeving in and out of traffic. Today, lots of slow people. But this one guy in an old eclipse was driving like 25 mph infront of me and i was like dude speed up. He had so much room infront of him. And then we were approaching a light and i was like you better get going I want to make this...the light goes yellow right as I say that and I'm like great and start to slow down....him still going the same speed, keeps driving the yellow light is on for like 3 seconds and I was like wow he's not even going to stop, or even speed up....does he actually think itll stay yellow that much longer. So he just lazly drives right through the red light. I was like wow. Not only did you drive like an ass slowly and make me miss the light...you just clearly blew right through. But of course I caught up to him later and went passed him.

Don't forget Mr. or Ms/ inconsistency.

You - Driving at a steady 60 MPH on the Interstate

Them - Pass you at 70 MPH, move in front of you and then slow down to 61 MPH

You - Maintain speed and pass them at a leisurely pace

Them - 5 minutes later they repeat the above...

[hatchet]

Don't forget Mr. or Ms/ inconsistency.

You - Driving at a steady 60 MPH on the Interstate

Them - Pass you at 70 MPH, move in front of you and then slow down to 61 MPH

You - Maintain speed and pass them at a leisurely pace

Them - 5 minutes later they repeat the above...

[hatchet]


I think it should be legal to shoot these people. At least have a season for it. You know deer season, bear season, inconstant driver season.

peoples apparent lack to comprehend the fast lane pisses me off to no end. It's not just another lane to take up, its so I can get out from behind your slow ass!!

In Memphis, the fast lane is on the right, slow on the left. I've heard this is everywhere.

lol alot of these are funny. My 25 mile drive to work is mostly on a two lane high way. Speed limit is 55. I usually hit the cruise control for 60 if i remember. The problem with 2 lane highways is that people will literaly risk thier own lives as well as everyone elses just to get in front of one car on a road that is stacked with like 20 cars.

This goes both ways, from behind me as well as on coming traffic. I usually try to get thier attention by raising my hands and applauding them as if they just made the best desicion of thier lives and hope they see me.

People who think they can merge sucessfully onto a 75mph freeway doing 40mph.

The interchange I use to get on I-25 in CO, has a 2/5 mile long, two lane on ramp. this is because there are four truck stops there and they built it so big rigs could get up to a decent speed. However, idiots in cars will just poke along at 35-40mph until they are about 50 feet from the highway, then they try to speed up.....IDIOTS!

The person that follows the white line on the on-ramp thinking everyone else on the freeway is to look out for them.....

The person reading or putting on make-up

The person that refuses to let another in on the freeway or otherwise thinking they will get there faster if they are one car ahead......

The person in the left lane in traffic who races to the end of the line of cars and THEN attempts to get into the right lane to make a right turn...

[hatchet]

People That Think The Turning Lane Is For Passing...

Sure Im 18 And Do Stupid Things But Im Sorry This Is Ridiculous. A WRX STI Passed Me As If I Was Standing Still In The Turning Lane Narrowly Avoiding The Curb And I Was Doing 10 Over...

The person that tailgates you as if you will go any faster if he gets just an inch closer.

Or the person with the 4x4 who thinks that since he can get going in the snow and ice a quickly that he can also stop and handle in the ice and snow quickly as well.....

i had one guy pass me on the shoulder on i-95 the other day..WHO does that? and the people who refuse to make a right hand turn on red...when there is no sign ANYWHERE saying you cant turn on red....turn damn it

the three things that piss me off are:

1. people who try and merge into traffic in the center turn lane
2. people who speed in school zones
3. people who pass you when you pull over for an emergency vehicle/ follow the emergency vehicle closley

Don't forget Mr. or Ms/ inconsistency.

You - Driving at a steady 60 MPH on the Interstate

Them - Pass you at 70 MPH, move in front of you and then slow down to 61 MPH

You - Maintain speed and pass them at a leisurely pace

Them - 5 minutes later they repeat the above...

[hatchet]

OMG - THOSE people make me NUTS!!!

The person in the left lane in traffic who races to the end of the line of cars and THEN attempts to get into the right lane to make a right turn...

[hatchet]


Um.. you mean races to the FRONT of the line? If so - oops - I've done that.

with the exception of pizza delivery guys...i want my PIZZA!

focus drivers are the worst.....well the group ive met....give or take a couple

Pizza delivery guys should be treated like cops. They come out onto the road, everyone else pulls over to let them through...

tailgaters are my #1 most hated drivers....i agree with many....you should be able to shoot these people

yuo should come to wisconsin, the winston cup rule seems to apply to everything. and i'm only goulg 10 over to get to work while there parking spaces left (500 employees,245spaces, you do the math,lol)

"I'm sorry I'm late to work, everyone. I had this idiot in front of me, and I had to follow him all the way. Oh, Hi boss, you just getting here?"

no not like that i get there 15 min. to a half hour early becuse of parking constraints (we need a bigger lot,lol)

haha, I hate the suv pin head, who tail gates you when your going 10 over at night, I found a little trick though, if you turn your side view mirrors all the way out it will shine the light right back at them[ohcrap], plus I got 5% tint on my back glass[headbang]

MERGING....living is socal where traffic is a....its horrible....merging is a huge problem

the rule is EVERY OTHER CAR...I would say bad merging is the main reason for bumper to bumper traffic...(not including an accident taking up 3 lanes!)

^^I agree totally. 90% of the traffic here in Tampa on the I275/I4/Downtown area is because of people thinking by not letting someone merge theyll get where theyre going that much quicker.

People not accelerating onto the highway really annoys me. How are you supposed to merge with people doing 60+ mph when your going 45?

The person that tailgates you as if you will go any faster if he gets just an inch closer.

Or the person with the 4x4 who thinks that since he can get going in the snow and ice a quickly that he can also stop and handle in the ice and snow quickly as well.....

Ya I love that one too. "I have four wheel drive, it's easier to stop in the snow..." That one drives me crazy. Also when someone tailgates you in the right lane, and the left or other lane is open to pass, and they just keep right on your ass...

Don't forget tailgating, and weeving in and out of traffic. Today, lots of slow people. But this one guy in an old eclipse was driving like 25 mph infront of me ... up to him later and went passed him.

I hate that stuff, man. Days like that I wish I had a giant boxing glove in front of my car that I can just extend into the rear of the jackass in front of me. Or two giant hands that clap really really loud so I can say, "WAKE UP!"

I "highly dislike" SUV drivers who threaten to run you over, verbally, when you roll down your window and tell them to suck it when they cut you off or try to muscle their way around. It even worse when they have DUBs on. Just tells me you have no taste.

I've got a couple...
1.) people that merge onto the interstate without looking; apparently they assume the Yield sign on the on-ramp is actually for the people on the interstate
2.) people that go 50mph everywhere whether it be the interstate (65mph zone) or through the city (30mph zone)
3.) people that go hella slow on the onramp (forcing me to get on at a slow speed, and pass them as soon as i can), then get going 80+ on the interstate (and pass me a couple mins later cause im doing the speed limit)
4.) almost every bloddy subaru and suv driver in the state that drives in the winter and winds up off the road... just because its AWD/4x4 doesnt mean its the end all to winter driving
5.) people that go 80+mph on the interstate in a truck/SUV....thats just stupid
saved the best for last....
inconsiderate Mac truck (or other) drivers that cut you off or tailgate you on the interstate...just because your vehicle is larger doesn't mean the interstate belongs to you....

what about no performance drivers

People that decide that they need to pull out in front of you when there are two lanes forcing you to do a quick lane change because you are doing 60 and they are doing 5.

im so glad other people do realize that the turn lane is NOT A MERGE LANE!!!

i cant stand those idiots that dont know how to use the middle frikin left turn divider lane in town.you know the ones that dont get over into it till the last 6 feet when they reach the entrance to where there going,,or dont even use the lane and just sit in the travel lane and block traffic till they can turn.i mean what the hell do they think that lane there with all the pretty arrows pointing left is there for ?

People who think they can merge sucessfully onto a 75mph freeway doing 40mph.

...idiots in cars will just poke along at 35-40mph until they are about 50 feet from the highway, then they try to speed up.....IDIOTS!

You're so lucky! The idiots in my town don't even bother to speed up until they're already ON the freeway. Then they have the nerve to give me a dirty look when I drop it into third and blaze past just to keep pace with a semi that's about to eat my ass end.

Besides what has already been mentioned.....

People who are turning right at a green light who feel the need to stop for no apparent reason.

It rained pretty much all day here last Sunday, in AZ when it rains people come down with sudden instant permanent retardation. So driving on the freeway you have a mix of people going 45mph, people with there lights off (visibility was probably a couple hundred feet) and people going 80mph

Yield does not mean ... STOP !!!

^^^ Holy Crap THANK YOU!!!!!

Yield does not mean ... STOP !!!


but also yield does not mean ...GO!!! drive in front of me at 25 mph when im doing 50 mph in a 25,000 LBS truck ... bad drivers are everywhere, just keep your eyes open and try to read people moves when you see them around...
[bash]

Don't forget Mr. or Ms/ inconsistency.

You - Driving at a steady 60 MPH on the Interstate

Them - Pass you at 70 MPH, move in front of you and then slow down to 61 MPH

You - Maintain speed and pass them at a leisurely pace

Them - 5 minutes later they repeat the above...

[hatchet]

Then there are the ones that drive under the speed limit and then speed up when you try to pass them! WTF IS WITH THAT! If the speed limit is 65 then speed up or let me effing pass your slow ass!

yield around here means,,pull out slowly,,oncoming traffic will stop, go around or hit you.
and a yellow light means ok 4 more cars.while you sit there at your green light just wanting to plow thru them

Oh, man.

I can add a few that I haven't seen yet:

-people who don't pull into the intersection on a green-light (no arrow) waiting to make a left turn, miss the light, and sit through three or four cycles before they work up the nerve to make their turn.

-people who stop because they think there's a stop sign at a given intersection that isn't actually there (for instance, entering the mall parking lot near my house, you hit a T intersection--incoming traffic doesn't stop, but the cross-traffic does. People still stop).

-people who try to pass stopped traffic on the shoulder because their exit is just a mile or so up the road.

Nothing makes my morning like edging onto the shoulder in front of these people and forcing them to go the same pace as traffic.

It's particularly bad where I-795 hits I-695 outside Baltimore. The first exit (my exit) is about a mile past the merge area. This area is ALWAYS bogged down. People decide the shoulder is a mile long exit ramp, and fly by stopped traffic.

If you see 'em coming and edge onto the shoulder, they get really, really pissed. And my smile gets bigger and bigger.

Yeah I don't like the emergency lane riders either, I was coming up to a turning lane once and waited until the white dashed line, where the law says to enter and started turning, and some guy driving an escalade had been riding in the emergency lane (I couldn't see him because of a dump truck behind me), but he almost destroyed me. Luckily I saw him and swerved back out, he then felt the need to flip me off, like I was in the wrong, so I just called the cops and told them he was driving recklessly.

and a yellow light means ok 4 more cars.while you sit there at your green light just wanting to plow thru them

When I'm at the front of the line at a stoplight and someone runs a red when it's green for me I start to pull out and lay on the horn and scare the crap out of 'em [spank] Unless it's the oblivious type and they don't even see or hear me. Those are the scary ones.

Oh, man.

I can add a few that I haven't seen yet:

-people who don't pull into the intersection on a green-light (no arrow) waiting to make a left turn, miss the light, and sit through three or four cycles before they work up the nerve to make their turn.

-people who stop because they think there's a stop sign at a given intersection that isn't actually there (for instance, entering the mall parking lot near my house, you hit a T intersection--incoming traffic doesn't stop, but the cross-traffic does. People still stop).

-people who try to pass stopped traffic on the shoulder because their exit is just a mile or so up the road.

Nothing makes my morning like edging onto the shoulder in front of these people and forcing them to go the same pace as traffic.

It's particularly bad where I-795 hits I-695 outside Baltimore. The first exit (my exit) is about a mile past the merge area. This area is ALWAYS bogged down. People decide the shoulder is a mile long exit ramp, and fly by stopped traffic.

If you see 'em coming and edge onto the shoulder, they get really, really pissed. And my smile gets bigger and bigger.

Good ones!

He's one I saw the other day:

People who drive their hybrid cars at 90+ mph down the highway. If you're gonna drive so dammed fast, why the f@@k did you buy a hybrid car???

Lo-performance woman driver - mirror PERMANENTLY adjusted to check make up.

I'm sure there's an equivalent for men, I just can't think of it right now...

for men mirror permanently adjusted to shave,lol. why the hell would you put a sharp object near your face on a bumpy ass road.

I tell you what, lets make a law. If you witness another expletive driving like an idiot, I think you should be able to write down their plates, go online or call DMV, and submit a complaint. Enough complaints gets you a trip to Motor Vehicle Hell, and try to pass the driving test again. Not to mention knowledge tests should be mandatory for renewals, and driving exams every 10 years.

i would think for men,, to comb hair or pick nose,,,lol

Yield does not mean ... STOP !!!
LOL! I have a different version...
"It says YIELD not GIVE UP!"

I do believe I've embarassed my wife more than once while I yelled that out the window after honking my horn at least twice.
(Come to think of it...I'm on my 2nd set of horns already)

The only problem with that law is that the low performance drivers think we dont know how to drive either.

Ive had someone say they were gonna call the cops on me and report me because I passed them in a passing zone before it turned into a no passing zone (Was still in the passing zone the whole time i was passing), because they claimed i passed in the no passing zone. Lucky for me the person chased me down, and harassed me and tried to follow me home. I woulda gotten away if i hadnt broken my shifter tower, making it impossible to go much of anywhere fast.

...I hate other drivers.

^^^ I haven't had the dubious pleasure of driving on Long Island in years (Thank God!), but that's exactly what they do with the yield sign at the bottom of the on-ramps... stop!

Where I grew up they are called "acceleration lanes" where I'm speeding up to match traffic.

My sister had a college room-mate from LI. She said "But that's a "stop-yield"". My sister had to explain to her that if you did that in Albany you would need to have the following car surgically extracted from your trunk.

Don't get me started on my Long Island Expressway rant, you really don't want to hear it...

Lo- Performance Driver COUNTERMEASURES -

My Dad taught me this and it is the BEST at combating all of the above scenarios.

On your rear wiper washer. Carefully adjust the nozzle so that it no longer sprays down onto the rear window. Point it straight back.

Lo Performance Driver appears...

Keep your cool, adjust your driving and casually make your way back to be directly in front of them.

Hit the rear washer and hose down their hood, and windshield....

lol,,,, thats classic ^^^^^^^^

My Dad taught me this and it is the BEST at combating all of the above scenarios.

On your rear wiper washer. Carefully adjust the nozzle so that it no longer sprays down onto the rear window. Point it straight back.

Lo Performance Driver appears...

Keep your cool, adjust your driving and casually make your way back to be directly in front of them.

Hit the rear washer and hose down their hood, and windshield....


I've considered doing that exact same thing (after driving a Cherokee whose nozzle tended to do that naturally) - but I thought it might get me shot.

(As it is, I've already had a gun pulled on me for giving the finger to an incessant horn honker...)

Great - and hilarious - idea, though.

take the advice of a twisted metal champion. fender mounted rocket launchers (they pop out then fire,lol) will solve all your issues that or upup right and use the freeze missle,lol

You know how when two lanes merge, everyone is supposed stagger every other car so the traffic can merge safely?

Well, I was riding with my sister once and I saw this guy in a Toyota Tundra a few cars back from us force his way ahead an extra car length as two lanes merged into one. Then a bit later it was two lanes again and he was in the lane on our right and behind us.
Everyone was lined up perfectly to merge, and as two lanes started to merge (big surprise!) He sped up as the lane was ending to try and get in front of us.
haha, not hapnin' this time!
I told my sister to floor it and ride the bumper of the guy in front of us. So at this point the guy trying to pass has ZERO room to merge in front of us and he's driving on the shoulder right next to us (the other lane has ended). He honks and glares at me so I flip him off and just hold the pose as he is forced to get back in his place behind us.
Then he started to tailgate us so I held my arm out the window and flipped the bird again for like a minute as he chickened out and backed off. It was awesome. He was a short guy with a pornstache wearing a forest service uniform and driving a raised Tundra.
I suspect he was compensating for something [hihi]

Lo- Performance Driver COUNTERMEASURES -

My Dad taught me this and it is the BEST at combating all of the above scenarios.

On your rear wiper washer. Carefully adjust the nozzle so that it no longer sprays down onto the rear window. Point it straight back.

Lo Performance Driver appears...

Keep your cool, adjust your driving and casually make your way back to be directly in front of them.

Hit the rear washer and hose down their hood, and windshield....


Haha if it wasnt illegal and if i knew i wasnt going to get shot i would mount not one but two painballguns and have the tip of the barrel pointing out where my foglights were, then attach an actuator to hold down the trigger, and put a button on my shifter handle. It would be like flying a fighter plane...[headbang]

Pizza delivery guys should be treated like cops. They come out onto the road, everyone else pulls over to let them through...

In my small town, its get out of the pizza guys way and the cops way,in that order. This is a college town after all.

-You don't signal when turning or making a lane change

I'm guilty of this. I only signal when i think it's necessary for others to know what my intentions are. For example, if i fly past you on the left and decide to change into your lane, why bother to signal? I'm already going much faster than you and have a few car lengths over you when i make my lane change. Also, if i'm in a "Turn only Lane"...don't expect me to signal.


Here are other bad driver habits:
-Those who think a "Yield" sign means to stop.
-Those who make a right turn from the lane, instead of pulling over to the right.
-Those who slam on their brakes when they see a cop who already has someone else pulled over.

There is no such thing as a fast lane, its called a passing lane. All traffic should stay in the lanes to the right unless of course your going to pass then you may use the left lane. The exception would be if there is no posted speed limit for a particular stretch of road such as parts of the Autobahn. Even then you should be considerate and move out of the way for faster traffic.

I just get out of the way of people coming up fast on my rear. Especially if I am already going the speed limit. I just look at it as an opportunity for him to scout out the poe-poe for me. lol

Haha if it wasnt illegal and if i knew i wasnt going to get shot i would mount not one but two painballguns and have the tip of the barrel pointing out where my foglights were, then attach an actuator to hold down the trigger, and put a button on my shifter handle. It would be like flying a fighter plane...[headbang]

Just a couple shots, aim 'em low, so you just tag bumper. You could even test the aim point at different differences, and mark little black dots on your windscreen with a sharpie at the impact points. Even if they hear something and pull over, ur gone. He He He He, your on to something.[shhh]