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Old 02-12-2013, 12:25 AM   #34
Deutsche Arsche
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Originally Posted by Nik00117 View Post
I'm sorry but I got you guys beat...I live in Korea and before that Kosovo first off let's start with Kosovo.

Kosovo is a bat shit crazy awesome country with a police force that is tied up with real issues, such as tribal killings, Muslim and Christian warfare, and Serbian terrorists plus Mafia smuggling Heroin from Afgainstain into Europe through their country. Also their neighbors hate them.

What does this mean? Well it means cops don't give out traffic tickets. Also the avg cop makes $250 Full time salary in Kosovo. No $250 is not enough money (sometimes they don't get paid)

So cops don't issue traffic tickets, did I mention the part where they are dirt poor? Well they also don't have driver's licease system that is enforced either. Did I mention that when my buddy bought a car there he got his licease at a art shop? No he didn't get the numbers from DMV he went to a Art Shop and paid them $5 to make him a licease plate with whatever numbers he wanted. No he didn't register the car. His insurance document? What insurance it's still classified as a war zone and insurance companies refuse to issue vehicles.

So here are my stories from Kosovo

1. Driving from lunch one day I see to Semi trucks and a mini we are on a two lane highway One semi truck was going north the other south and the mini driver was going north behind the first truck. Well this mini drive decided that he didn't care about his life anymore and tried to pass the Semi truck as another one was approaching. The south bound semi truck scrapped the minor off the mini and nearly went off the road. The mini kept driving.
2. It was winter, it was cold and icy we had just gotten about a foot of snow. I'm outside having a beer and a snow fight when I see a car going blazing fast down A ICE HIGHWAY. Completely and utterly insane. The driver crashed his car about 1.5 KM down the road I saw the wreckage on my way home.
3. Everyone must assume that stop lights are decoration. Cause it's obvious no one follows them
4. One day my driver is driving me (don't think I was rich I paid this guy $300 a month plus gas money and he was personal driver) on an icy road we are approaching a sharp turn he begins turning about 25 meters before the turn starts and we slide sideways for a good bit. I'm shitting my pants look at him and he says "don't worry" we slide for about 20-25 meters then our car caught traction and off we went.
5. My business mgr had a death wish apparently cause he'd play chicken, No i'm not joking I drove home with him once and on two lane road he went into on coming traffic I'm yelling at him to stop being an idiot and he goes "Clam down!" he won the game...However last year I heard he lost, well actually both drivers lost. He's still alive though.
6. Safety inspection? What it's wrong to weld two different cars together? What's wrong with that? Wind sheild? Who needs a windsheild? Lights, who needs lights? (keep in mind VERY FEW traffic lights)? Leaky gas tank? That's why I don't fill it up all the way and keep a spare can in the back. "What happened to my seat belts? I cut them up and use them as a belt my wife liked the color" "Airbags? Nope used them last year"

My buddies say I had balls because I owned a motorcycle in Kosovo and rode it too! O yea the roads where so poorly paved in some parts they where slick as ice. In the middle of summer.

Now onto Korea

1. Right away is determined by whose car is most expensive
2. Regardless of the circumstances of the accident your at fault even if you where in a parking spot and rended by a drunk dude in a BMW 7 series who just happened to be the son of a rich lawyer.
3. The richer you are and the more expensive your car the less traffic laws apply to you. Sure it's a one way street however you got your $100,000 luxury car so who gives a .
4. Turn Signals? Whats that?
5. You should honk your horn every 30 seconds to ensure it's functioning properly.
6. Can't take left turns, only U turns. Why? Cause Koreans can't comprehend left turns.
7. Korean women drivers are the worst, Women tend to lack driving skills. Koreans lack driving skills. Korean women are the worst.
8. Stop Lights? What's that?
9. Let's drive downtown at 1 AM when the streets packed full of drunk people cause we are rich and have nice cars and then get pissed off when you get stuck cause of allt he people are partying in the street (which is actually a side walk) and murder is still illegal
10. Taxi drivers and Rich People are excused from drinking and driving.
11. 1/2 inch of snow? Gotta get snow chains on your Audi AWD because well it's slippery
12. Get 6 inches of snow in a Bongo truck (RWD small truck that weighs like 5 LBs) stuck on an incline that you can't get up? Solution...Spin your tires eventually you will melt through the ice. What about those snow chains? Can't afford them. Why? Cause I bought them for the AWD Audi.
I can't speak for Korea, but Bosnia has Kosovo beat hands down. Daily near misses there, not so much in Kosovo. I love right lane left turns.

DC is way worse than El Paso.
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