I think all signs are beginning to point back to a faulty IAC valve. Here's why:
1) Everything appears to be functioning normally except the IAC valve (evident when it's disconnected - engine idles great)
2) I cleaned my original IAC valve with no luck
3) I replaced my original IAC valve with a part from Autozone
4) I suspected my replacement from autozone was defective so I replaced my replacement IAC valve.
5) I've performed the idle relearn procedure a dozen times.
I'm about to break down and order a motorcraft IAC valve... They have them on amazon for a good price. Is there anything else that you guys think it might be? I've 99% ruled out a vacuum leak. The car runs great besides the high idle problem.