Okay, I'm getting ready to take another look at this thing today. I'm gonna put it up on stands and see if I can't get to the IAC, and while I'm doing that I'll check to make sure nothing is unplugged (or plugged in incorrectly).
I started looking around for an automatic-specific throttle-body, and the couple I found look exactly like the one I have, TPS included. My TB is in good condition, and the throttle position sensors look exactly the same, is it really just a question of the Automatic one being wired differently? That sucks!